Psychology Explains Why Relationships Are Dominated by Bullies.

Do you know a bully who uses manipulation to silence others and control conversations? Is your spouse one of these harmful individuals?

Every day, our understandings of abuse and the perpetrators of abuse diverge more and more. We have gained an understanding of toxic relationships and the ways in which abusers control conversations, prey on their victims, and impose their will on others over time. We no longer anticipate that only physical violence will be viewed as a serious issue. We have a better grasp on the nuances of control and abuse.

Research shows that control is a basic consider harmful connections and circumstances. People who are toxic feel the need to control, successfully manipulate, bribe, and harm others. Consider this: The power that someone has over you is greatly diminished when you are not under their control.

However, management is a difficult subject in point of fact, you may not always be aware that someone is attempting to control you. As the abusive party learns to be subtle, the line between control, communication, and control can blur in close relationships, especially romantic ones. They are limited in their ability to manipulate their partner in ways that appear to be harmless but lead to a highly toxic relationship and harm.

So, how precisely can one tell when someone is exerting this control over other people? Observing the partner’s control over the narrative, which reveals the toxicity, is the first step. Everything else becomes much clearer when you can see past the bullying partner’s ruses, facades, and lies. People use this method to control conversations and force their partners to follow the rules.

1. They Take Control of Conversations By Assigning Blame.

People need to be willing to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them in order to have a happy relationship. In a relationship that is balanced, there are never any situations in which one person is always wrong. The fact of the matter is that both parties have the ability to collaborate at any time to advance their relationship.

 

However, abusers are unwilling to admit their errors. They want to blame everyone else in order to avoid being held accountable. They bully their partner into demanding responsibility by pushing responsibility in a relationship. In order to control conversations and evade accusations in order to steer clear of potential repercussions, they deceive their partners into thinking that they are innocent. The following ways are used to accomplish this:

• They Do It Because of Their Partner

The most common strategy used by abusers to exert control over the conversation. They reframe scenarios to place blame on their partner whenever conflict arises. Although doing the laundry was their responsibility, did you take into account that they had a terrible week? How dare you expect them to carry out this responsibility? Even though you acknowledged that the way they looked at your ex made you feel uneasy, isn’t it your fault that you’re so insecure? Even though they were mean to your best friend, you should know that they don’t like being in social situations, so it’s your fault that you expected something different! This is the ridiculous way that abusers twist events to blame their partners.

• They Place the Blame on Others.

Abusers always act as though they have no power. Ironically, they frequently benefit most from this behavior. They behave as though everyone is against them. They claim that once these external factors are eliminated, they behave significantly differently and attribute their actions and behavior to them. They pretend to have no role in the situation and point the finger at everyone and everything. In order to unite their partner against an imagined adversary, they control conversations.

• They Make It Easy for your Feelings to Take Over the Conversation.

Even if the abuser is responsible for something, he finds a way to get you to lie by appealing to your feelings. They talk about their mental health issues, cry about how hard their week has been, or say they want to hurt themselves. They also weep about how nothing they do is good enough for a relationship or how they will never be worthy of their partner. To soothe their partner’s instinct, they say outrageous things. Even though they technically admitted making a mistake in this instance, they did so in such a way that the error appears to be forgiveable. Their partner might even feel bad about having a false emotional reaction. In essence, it is yet another tactic for playing the victim.

Some abusers go beyond blaming others. They also collaborate with gas lighting, completely reimagining various scenarios. The objective is to challenge the partner’s perception of reality. They might think that their partner is crazy, that he or she is too sensitive, or that he is forgetting things.

2. They Dominate Conversations by Spewing Negativity at Their Partners.

As long as it is done with respect and positivity, constructive criticism can be useful in relationships. However, abusers do not wish to be respected. Through verbal abuse and bullying, they can achieve their goal of dominating conversations. They instill negativity in their partner, making them even more prone to power abuse.

According to research, verbal abuse can have a significant negative impact on mental health and self-esteem. Abusers are exceptionally skilled at beginning verbal abuse in subtle ways that only slightly undermine their partner’s confidence. Their partners believe that they have earned the harshness and negativity of their words over time as a result of their relaxation. In the following ways, an abuser can use negativity to dominate conversations:

• They Never Find Contentment.

In order to gain the abuser’s approval and acceptance, the partner frequently goes to great lengths, which ultimately damages the abuser’s self-esteem. Abusers maintain contentment to reinforce their bullying. They take over the conversation no matter what their partner is talking about and insist that everything they say is incorrect. On the other hand, their companion shrinks more and more.

• They Portray Honesty as Cruelty.

It hurts to be honest, and there are times when we have to tell the hard truth. However, abusers do not act in a constructive manner. In order to pierce their partner to the core, they purposefully speak with the utmost cruelty and harshness. With this unnecessary cruelty, they dominate conversations. When told about the bullying, they say they will only be truthful. They only say what they think and claim it is for their partner’s benefit. They have the support of partners under their control.

• They Affront their Accomplices to Overwhelm the Discussions

A joke that is “offensive” by agreement is not the same as an insult that makes a partner feel small. By hurling an insult at the right time that gets right to the partner’s heart, the abuser can control the conversation. They do this a lot, bringing up this criticism so frequently that it becomes part of their conversation on a regular basis. Their partner becomes accustomed to it over time and accepts it, not realizing that every insult deeply hurts them.

3. In Order to Dominate Conversations, They Refuse to Participate.

The abuser will simply not engage in conversation if he finds himself in an interaction with his partner in which he does not wish to participate. This tactic of “stonewalling” is often a sign of a relationship breaking down, according to research.

Stone walls can appear by accident and take many different forms. However, abusers employ this strategy to avoid having a conversation they do not wish to have this is because they want to talk about the problem in their own way or they want to forget about it. These are some of the ways they can go about it:

• The Method of Silence

In order to dominate conversations, an abusive partner may completely ignore them. The abuser can force their partner into a hopeless situation by giving them the cold shoulder. The abuser gets to “win” on their terms because they won’t talk until the problem is fixed or their partner apologizes.

• By Cutting Off Communication, They Manage Conversations.

The abuser may, for no apparent reason, stop responding in the middle of an argument. They don’t say anything about their actions or the reasons behind them. Similar to a ghost, but confronting. It’s important to note that taking a break during a heated argument to gather your thoughts is perfectly acceptable. However, the perpetrator in this case does not. In order to get ahead, they willfully deviate from the plan, take charge of conversations, and never stop talking. They simply insist that things be discussed on their terms.

• They “Strangely” Treat Their Partner.

By acting “weird” when the subject is brought up, an abuser may convey their message to their partner. They claim that nothing is wrong and suddenly act strange or hostile. In order to avoid receiving sudden “strange” treatment, their partner must attempt to avoid the target. Maintaining physical distance, maintaining affection, or maintaining eye contact are examples of this treatment.

• They act as though their partner ought to be separated.

The abuser quickly activates the gaslight when he believes that his partner has finally been encouraged to ask him the right questions. They make it appear as though their partner is erratic, “crazy,” or sensitive. They end their relationship, declaring that they will give to their partner, acting in a reasonable and straightforward manner.

Final thoughts on how toxic people bully their partners by dominating conversations.

Victimizers track down various ways of controlling discussions to menace their accomplices. They alter their narratives to avoid ever having to admit error. Additionally, in an effort to undermine their partner’s self-esteem and assert a higher status, they verbally and physically abuse them. They won’t take part in the discussions until they agree to them.

Abusers can also control conversations in other ways. There are numerous ways to commit this kind of bullying. The abuser develops a wide range of behaviors in order to achieve his goal of control. To avoid being enchanted by these mechanisms, you must be aware of them.

Don’t be afraid to get help if you think your partner is hurting you in this way. Contact a professional or someone in your social circle.Be aware of your own self-esteem and your partner’s various methods of control during this process. Be safe, above all else!